Winnie the Pooh and Christmas, Too

Yet again, it has been entirely too long since the last time I wrote. I sense that to be somewhat of a recurring theme. However, back I am, and back with a vengance.

Right now, at this very moment, I am sitting on my soon to be ex-roomates couch, surrounded by purses, boxes, and one very stuffed 60-gallon trashbag full of all the clothes I brought with me way back in August. My finals are over, my classes are completely out of my hands, and the ensuing feeling of relief fills me to the brim every time I think about it. Thats right, I am offically done with my first semester of college. It's an interesting feeling, mostly one of disbelief. There are some times that I wake up and still feel like I'm at a sleep away camp. It's a good feeling to be done, but I'm wondering if I truly lived it up to the extent that I could have. I went to my classes, I went to parties, I even fell in to deep crush and was brutally rebuked, Elizabeth-to-Darcy style, by the boy next door. And now I'm headed home for 31 days of dull, boring, familial bliss. And I couldn't be more excited.

Over break, I plan on reading nothing but all of those things that I've been wanting to read but haven't had time to between all of the afore-mentioned studying and partying. This inclues Atonement by Ian McEwan, the rest of The Other Boelyn Girl by Philippa Gregory, Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. All of the above have been on the list for quite some time, and I'm finally ready to get around to them, seeing as how I'll have 31 uninterrupted, unemployed days for doing so. I've heard nothing but wonderful things about Atonement, and am really excited to crack it open. It's about time I finish The Other Boelyn Girl, seeing as how I've had it in my possession for over a month now and am still only about half way through it. The Garcia Marquez is because I've been interested in getting in to some Marquez since we talked about him in my Latin American Studies class, and the Tao of Pooh is because I've decided, yet again, to try and refocus myself back to myself. I want to make sure that, next semester, I've living the best life I can live for me.

I'm not going to lie, the whole encounter with the boy next door threw me for a loop I wasn't quite prepared for. It shook me, who I was as me and what I wanted. I've decided that its time to get back to me, back to what I really want and who I really want to me. Drew, my Army might-as-well-be-my-brother, bought me beautiful Mala beads for Christmas, and its about time I got back to meditation, back to thinking about who and what I am. I've made some goals for the next year, but I'm choosing to make them now as opposed to New Years, because New Years just seems like far to cliche a time to make new goals. So, consider these my new goals for the same-but-better-me:

* I want to learn to play guitar
* I want to get better at meditating and yoga
* I want to look in to the religions of the East, learning more about other spiritual paths
* I'm going to begin reading the Pulitzer prize winners, beginning with 2007 and working my way back
* I'm going begin to organize my reading/keeping better track of it, as well as to get back in to journaling
* I want to be happy. Which means I want to be around people and places, listening to the music, watching the movies, reading the books and experimenting with art forms that make me happy.

Most importantly, I want to do all of this for me. Because its Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth. Especially to yourself.

And now, a closing word of wisdom from The Tao of Pooh: "When you discard arrogance, complexity, and a few other things that get in the way, sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Block: Life is Fun."

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